Matt Sambito

Too Hip For The Room – Terms of use

Too Hip For The Room – Terms of use

Humor is provided as is without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity employer; no shoes, no shirt, no laughs; quantities are limited while supplies last;

Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted;  if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service centre; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory: explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; avoid freezing; smoking this may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in this disclaimer is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of this ; no salt, MSG, artificial colour or flavour added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a doctor; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; do not insert in body orifices; to avoid shock turn off power before removing cover; to avoid breakage use only vegetable-based lubricants; do not stare directly into e-mail without wearing welding glasses; objects may be closer than they appear; avoid reading during an electrical storm; humour offer valid only at participating WWW site; slightly higher in Quebec; allow four to six weeks for delivery; contents may settle during shipping; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, baseball strike, hockey riot, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, typos, misspelled words, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in this FAQ offer, and incidents owing to motor vehicle accidents, airplane crash, ship sinking, leaky roof, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, broken glass, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply.

If something offends you, smell the roses, lighten up, get a life, and move on.